Birth Control, or Chop it off! Advice for the Duggar Family

Below: the Duggar family of Hicksville Arkansas

The Duggar family of Hicksville Arkansas welcomed their 17Th child! And this beastly woman will likely get knocked up again! It gets easier as it goes, as now the 3rd eldest child has a newborn to take care of, as he gets home schooled in the art of child rearing.

My first wish is that this not get picked up by AP. It makes this country look terrible like we are a bunch of uncivilized hicks that don't know any better than to screw and have babies. Although my thoughts of the south are not the greatest, this family certainly does not help the image, as they live in the sticks in a PO-dunk town and are likely half the population or more!

I understand religion as much, if not more than, most people, but I also understand reason. For example, that child will certainly get raised by the siblings, not the parents. It is a strain to the economy, and creates more unintelligent citizens who will all likely go out and create more babies, as that what the "Home Schooling" will be teaching them.

Birth control - just do it, or don't do IT, get it? I feel bad for the husband, but it can't be that great after child 17 just popped out, no problems. Another technique, that this poor man must not have learned is "pull out". Definitely not 100% safe, but could prolong #18 until menopause kicks in!

Lindsay Lohan's new career? or Best Drunken ride ever?

Sign me up for the NASA space program! I always thought becoming an astronaut was very difficult to become, and took discipline and the need to be devoted to space exploration. It turns out that everyone's favorite young star Lindsay Lohan, could become an astronaut! She is constantly at a bar drinking until she can't remember, and still has the ability to show up for work! The risk of hitting something is low, since the shuttle has to fly up, and is controlled on autopilot! As long as she takes a cab to the launch site, that is until vehicles are equipped with autopilot! Look out below for when the waste is expelled from the shuttle, i would hate for anyone to have to experience that!

The next shuttle launch could be a solid crew of Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, and Britney, and the fortunately forgotten Tara Reid. If it crashed, no one would care anyway!

Rehab...Nice try Lindsay Lohan

Rehab is a great program designed to help people overcome a sickness that could eventually take their life. As a court mandated program, or as Lindsay Lohan used it as, a way to bring back an image of a once sweet Innocent girl, does not work. Rehab is more of a vacation for some, a way to talk to, and lie to people by telling them you are sick, need help, and in the end are rehabilitated.

Lindsay is a disgrace to what rehab is designed for. The extra stay, the headphone looking ankle bracelet, were not fooling any of the former Lohan fans! Hopefully, when she gets released from jail, she does not continue her circle of destruction, but I am sure she already has her old room in rehab already reserved, and her next party booked!

I am Michael Vick. A translation of the Michael Vick thoughts:

What you are about to embark on is a journey through the Michael Vick thought process, translated to English:

I am so bored with football! I’m faster, smarter, and better than any player out there. I’m better looking, too. No one can compete with this man, the dominator, the champion, the lord of the football field. I am Michael Vick.

Wait, I have no championships, there are a growing number of solid rushing qb’s that will be better than me, and I’m not the dominator, I get dominated, and thus end up sidelined with various injuries!

What can a rich brotha, the Michael Vick , do to make up for what is lacking in my life. I need to dominate, be a champion, and a lord……Dog fighting!! I can kick they ass, raise a champion, and Mike Vick is their lord and master!

The above is a translation of the only logical reason why a very wealthy, NFL superstar would get involved in what was a popular sport in the early 1900’s.

I, as many, were fans of Mike Vick, and enjoyed watching him play the game, too bad the next game he will likely play in, will be from the jail yard!

Bad Karaoke, Terrible Actors!

Singing Bee! The new hit game show is an invite to all the wanna be actors and mediocre singers, to give them 5 seconds of fame, and the shot at a whopping $50,000 prize! After 2 weeks of the show, and watching the same basic personality make the 6 lucky contestants, i begin to wonder if I would qualify to be a contestant. The qualifications are:

1) Must be able to gyrate body, in what appears to be dancing

2) Must possess the ability to poorly imitate the real dancing, or rocking out in by various artists,

3) Must have the ability to sing off key, in an attempt to rock out like the various artists

4) Must have a deep love toward the superstar host, and Dancing with the Stars runner up, Joey Fatone.

Enjoy the show, but please do not attempt to imitate at home!

Texting, talking, reading, laughing...Driving Too?

It's hard enough to balance texting, talking, reading, and laughing all at the same time. For the average person, this is distracting and difficult to do, especially for teenage girls. Then imagine that girl behind the wheel! This may have played a role in a recent accident that killed five NY teenage girls.

In the NY accident, the police reported that the driver of the vehicle sent and received a text message 38 seconds prior to the accident, meaning that it is very likely that she was typing her response, looked up, and the rest is history.

On my daily hour and a half commute, I have observed some unbelievable acts on the road. Some people forget they are on the road and not at home on the couch! The worst I have ever seen was a balancing act of smoking, drinking a nice hot cup of coffee, and reading the paper! This was the driver, and traffic was moving! Ninety percent of the people, that I observe, that make mistakes, which result in all of the 'close calls', are a result of cell phone usage. With text messaging becoming more common, to send a text message is a thousand times more dangerous than normal talking! It takes two hands, and the need to look down and type, and while driving this equates to no hands on the wheel, and eyes down.

I am as guilty as anyone else on the road using the phone. I have years of experience, and am not a teenage girl, but it is still a distraction. People need to learn from the tragic event in NY, and understand that cell phone usage and text messaging should not occur behind the wheel. Unfortunate as it is to say, this will not be the first or last fatality that occurs from texting behind the wheel. The hope is for people to come to the reality that driving is the number one priority while driving, and that the person waiting to receive a text or phone call, will still be there after arriving.

Harry Potter Book - SPOILER!!

Harry dies! Well, actually that's the way I would want it be! Hermione is getting to become quite the attractive young lady, and I would hate to see her go. The release is so very near, i know the Potter fanatics out there are dying right now, and thinking of a way to high jack the first shipments of the book, which occur on July 16. Look out post office! There may be a swarm of witches and wizzards out, conjuring up spells, to obtain their beloved book, and keep it out of the hands of He-who-must-not-be-named!

Here is a depressing thought for you allthe wanna-be witches and wizards, this is the last book! What now? What's next?? At least there are a few movie releases yet to come, which I'm sure if the tickets were on pre-sale, there would be a line for them too!